Expect nothing

Yes, I'm always the one who's left waiting, expecting. Because there is a lesson I don't want to learn, or maybe a lesson that hasn't been taught the right way and it is to expect nothing from people.

I always expect so much, put so much faith in them. Everyone always ends up letting me down. I know, it is my fault, mostly. Maybe I just have to walk away from everyone that gets a little bit of trust and attention so I don't end up having wrong expectations and frustrating myself every time they don't act as I expect.

I always ask for too much, I always expect honesty, I really like people who's transparent. Where are those people? Should I become a liar? Is lying an option? I'm considering all these options because I'm tired, I'm really tired of being the only one who tells what she thinks, who punches you in the face with the awful truth instead of disguising all kinds of ideas, plans and intentions with fake expectations. I'm not like that, I can't stand being a liar to myself, and I can't stand that you all lie to me, and if any of you hasn't lied to me, you will, just wait and see.

Today I don't trust the world, today I can't rely on a single person because I'm full of fears and frustration. I hate to make these announcements (announcements I will regret later, and I will end up trusting everyone else again...) but, I will not expect anything from anyone again, world can go to hell and I will try not to care, just as you all do and probably my heart will end up as anesthethized, just as yours and I will finally learn not to care about anyone or anything. That would be great, It would save me lots of anguish, pain and worries.

I guess it is time to be a human being just like everyone else.